How to Make a Life Story Book for Dementia (and Record It in Their Own Voice)

A life story book is a record of someone's life (the people, places, work, values and small likes that make them who they are) that helps a person living with dementia share who they are, reminisce, and stay known to the people around them. Start early, let the person lead, and record their voice as well as the words.

What a life story book is, and why it helps

Dementia UK describes a life story as "a record of someone's life" that supports a person living with dementia in reminiscing about their past, reflecting on what matters to them now, and communicating it to others. It lists what compiling one can do:

• help the person share who they are, their history, and the things that matter to them
• strengthen their sense of identity
• encourage reminiscence
• bring enjoyment, through thinking about happy times
• help family members feel closer, through sharing stories
• give carers and care staff a better understanding of the person, so they can offer better care and more meaningful conversation

Even as memory changes, a life story is a reminder that the person is still who they've always been. In Dementia UK's words, it helps everyone "see the person behind the condition."

Start early, while they can choose

If someone you love has an early diagnosis, the best life story is made with them: in their words, while they can decide what to share and how they'd like to be described. Dementia UK's advice is to "always be led by the person," and to let them caption their own photos, because "it is their story, not yours."

This is the same reason the National Institute on Aging encourages planning as early as possible after a diagnosis: it lets the person make decisions and tell the right people. A life story is a gentler kind of planning, about who they are rather than what should happen. It's never too late to start one, though, and family and friends can help fill in what the person can't.

What to include

Dementia UK suggests a life story might cover:

• who they are: their name, and how they like to be addressed
• their people: family, friends, colleagues and pets
• languages and beliefs: the languages they speak, and any religious, spiritual or cultural beliefs and routines
• their story: childhood, school, working life and achievements
• places: homes, schools, workplaces and holidays
• big moments: weddings, births, moves and new jobs
• what they enjoy: music, TV and films, food, activities, and the occasions they like to celebrate
• what matters: their values, likes and dislikes, and how they like to look and dress

You don't need to cover it all, or go in order. Pick one topic at a time, and come back to it over days, weeks or months.

Ask open prompts rather than quiz questions. "Can you tell me about where you grew up?" invites a story, while "What was your street called?" asks for a fact they may not reach. Social Care Wales recommends starting with "Tell me about…" because it doesn't put the person on the spot.

Free printable: Life story questions (PDF). It's one page of 15 open prompts, grouped by life stage, with a little space for notes.

Book, box, video or voice

There's no single right format. Dementia UK and Age UK describe several, and many families use more than one:

• A book: portable, and easy for visitors and carers to pick up. Keep it simple: clear text, one font, and no more than two contrasting colours. Laminating the pages helps them last.
• A memory box: photos, postcards, souvenirs and familiar objects, which can mean more when someone relies on touch or smell.
• Video: family films, messages and music, and a way for relatives far away to contribute.
• An app: photos, video and audio in one place. These usually suit the earlier stages, with support if needed.

The case for voice. A book keeps the facts. A recording keeps the person telling them: their tone, their pauses, the way they laugh at their own story. A photo can show you their face, but only their voice can tell you how they'd have said it. If you do one thing beyond the book, record them telling a few of its stories.

How to record their voice gently

• Ask first. Make sure they're happy to be recorded, and tell them what it's for.
• Keep it short. Several short sessions are better than one long one.
• One question at a time. Use the printable, or our questions to ask your parents, and let one answer lead to the next.
• A quiet room. Turn off the TV, and put the phone on the table between you, not in their face.
• Never test their memory. If they mix up a date or a name, let it go. The story matters more than the facts.
• Follow the feeling. Some memories bring sadness. Dementia UK says not to be afraid to explore them if the person wishes, but to go gently.
• Stop while it's still good. End when they're tired, and before they are.

Reminiscence, honestly

Reminiscence (talking through the past, often with photos, music or objects) is widely used in dementia care, and life story work draws on it. The best summary of the evidence is a 2018 Cochrane review by Woods and colleagues. It included 22 studies with 1,972 people, and 16 of those studies (1,749 people) could be combined. It found:

• no important effect on quality of life overall, though there was probably a slight benefit in care homes
• probably a slight benefit to mood from one-to-one sessions
• a probable slight benefit to communication from group sessions
• a very small effect on thinking tests, of doubtful clinical importance
• no evidence of harm to people living with dementia

The authors call the effects "inconsistent, often small in size." So a life story isn't a treatment, and it won't change the course of dementia. It's a way to spend time together, to be known, and to keep what matters. That's reason enough.

Keep it safe

• Two copies. Keep one copy in the cloud and one on a computer or drive, and do the same for any recordings. Name each file with who is speaking and the date.
• Decide who sees what, together. Some memories are private. Dementia UK suggests one version for family and close friends, and a second, briefer one to share with carers.
• Keep it alive. A life story isn't finished. Add to it as new stories come up, and update the present: their routines now, and what they enjoy today.
• Before anything closes. If they have voicemails or voice notes from years past, save those too, before a phone is reset or a line is cancelled. Our voicemail guide shows how.